Ming Ming Can't Sing!
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: Ming Ming has a secret, and it just has to come out... how will everyone react?  And by everyone, I mean random people who weren't supposed to find out :3  Rated T for tangents!


_**A/N**: So, I just feel like writing, dammit! Lol, this time about Ming Ming, I suppose… and centered on her too! (Kind of… maybe… ok, it goes off on tangents, ok! Geez… lol.) Weeeee! Time for her secret to get out! If Boris would just stop distracting her anyway x3 How will people react to her news? D:_

_**Warnings**: … It's me. A bit of swearing :3 OOC-ness, obviously. Cameos… Hm, randomness… with a pinch of sarcasm, stir in some pranking, and you've got a yummy parody dish SERVED!  
>P.S. I had mountain dew XD<em>

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Beyblade!_

I have a confession to make. This won't be easy, by any means, but I can't hide the truth any longer.

I… can't sing. Yes, I know what you're thinking. You've heard about my beybattle with Daichi, and you could tell I was wooing the crowd with my amazing vocal skills, but guess what? I was lip synching. That's right: I was lip synching. The thing is, I honestly don't sound anywhere near as good as that singing. I sound _worse_.

What do you think? Should I tell everyone the truth? I know you're just paper, but I can't help but feel you understand me. Hell, that shouldn't make me THAT weird, considering Boris trusts weird lawn ornaments with HIS secrets. Seriously. A diary is a better confidante than nomes. Noams. Noms. How the hell do you spell that? Ugh. Why am I even wasting trees on those things anyway?

Out of nowhere, Boris walks in my room. It's as if he just KNOWS when his precious LAWN ORNAMENTS are being talked about. Well… Boris is really eccentric…

Boris is coming towards me. With a really weird look on his face. What the fuck? "What the fuck Boris? Leave me alone! I'm having a personal crisis here!"

Of course, he pays no attention to MY needs, and walks right up to me. Or rather, my diary. An unreadable expression takes hold of his face, then he tells me one thing, as if my life depended on it. "Gnomes is spelled with a g at the beginning."

I wrinkle my nose. "Seriously?" That was the big reaction?

Apparently he took my answer as "Seriously? What else can you tell me about gnomes, oh purple-haired god?" He smirked in what he probably thought was attractive. Maybe to a woman who was about his age.

"Yes, it's spelled g-n-o-m-e-s. Could you fix that in your diary? I cannot go on with my day if such an atrocious mistake exists!" I rolled my eyes, but fixed it anyway. I wouldn't hear the end of it otherwise. Nor would I ever get to confess my secret. What the hell was that secret again anyway? Damn gnomes.

"So, Ming Ming, what is this about you not being able to sing?" Oh, right, that was my secret. I figure I can tell him, since he'll just tell his gnomes, and that won't do any harm.

"Well… the truth is, I only lip synch. I can't sing very well…"

"Prove it to me, then."

I took a deep breath, and started to sing that random song I sang during that battle with Daichi. Not that I remembered all of it. However, that wasn't a problem when Boris stopped me the second line into it.

"Stop, just… stop! I think my ears are bleeding!" Boris quickly threw his hands over his victimized ears. "I believe you!"

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "I tried to warn you."

He huffed. "Whatever. Oh, by the way, you're fired."

I could feel my eyes grow wide. "WHAT?" I shrieked. "You can't fire me! I'm the team's icon! This is unfair!"

"Well, your reputation will be ruined. Wait, what am I saying? MY reputation will be ruined! AGAIN! No. No, if I fire you, they'll know. Yes, they'll know, and then they'll ruin my perfectly good image!"

"They?" I raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about? And your image isn't exactly _good_. More like, totally evil."

"My gnomes will know, and the rest of the world will find out. And that's the image I want to keep. But I don't want to be known as a villain who picked a singer that couldn't sing, that's preposterous!"

"… Your gnomes? What are THEY gonna do? They can't talk ya know." I sighed in exasperation. When will Boris see sense?

xxx

Perfect, not only can I ruin Boris, I can ruin her as well. I just need my minions for this to work…

The head gnome used his awesome senses to detect if his minions were around; they were, and they actually weren't kicked around in some perverse soccer game either!

Listen up minions, we need to spell out a sentence, one so powerful, it will ruin two reputations of two morons we don't care about. It's rather simple, we need to say only four words: Ming Ming can't sing. Got it? Assemble, now!

It took about five minutes to arrange themselves, without any of those morons noticing the movement. Then a bus came around the corner. Showtime!

xxx

It just so happens that the bus was the BBA bus. A bored Tyson was looking out the window when he saw a strange sight. He randomly made the bus stop where it was.

"Hey guys, you should totally check this out," Tyson pointed at the only gnome-filled lawn in the neighborhood. "It looks like it's trying to spell something."

Kenny took one look at it and gasped. "No! It's not true! Not my precious Ming Ming!"

He promptly fainted.

Hilary rolled her eyes at her crazed unconscious friend, and then checked out the front lawn. "Ming Ming can't sing?" She threw her head back and laughed. "This is precious!"

The rest of the occupants looked at Hilary warily as she kept cackling madly. "How about we just pretend we never saw that sign…?" Ray suggested tentatively. As if that was likely. "Besides, it's most likely not even true, you guys. Gnomes aren't exactly reliable you know."

Hilary's face changed from that of a mad woman to that of a… mad woman so abruptly that Ray regretted saying anything. "If you don't believe it, why don't you go see if it's true?" Every word was said in an extremely low voice, like a warning.

Ray held his hands up in surrender. "Ok, ok, I'll go see if it's true about Ming Ming." Why did she have to unleash her wrath on him? He was innocent!

Kenny came to when Ming Ming's name was spoken. "It can't be true! Noooooooo…"

Hilary whacked him on the back of his head. "Oh stop being so dramatic. You can go with Ray if you don't believe it!" Kenny had a feeling that was more of an order than a suggestion, and was careful to follow it.

The two made their way to the front door, careful not to step on any of the gnomes strewn carelessly about. They rang the doorbell, wondering if it really was true…

Guess there was one way to find out.

xxx

The sudden sound of the doorbell made me jump like 5 feet in the air. Boris, of course, being the badass he was, doesn't jump at sudden noises.

"Well? Are you gonna answer that Boris? Hm?" I casually looked at my nails while I waited for him to respond. Note to self: get a manicure when this whole thing blows over.

He sighed, but made his way to the door nonetheless. Opening it, he was surprised to see Ray and Kenny there. Boris huffed. "What do you want? It doesn't look like you have the pizza I ordered." He spun around on his heel, leaving the two more confused than before, if that's possible. The two shrugged at each other, then followed the purple-haired man into the house.

"Excuse us, but we just want to know if that thing about Ming Ming is true." Ray began to say. "Our lives are at risk if we don't find out."

I raised an eyebrow at this. Their lives are at risk? Really? And here I thought Boris was melodramatic. I sighed, but stayed out of sight of the trio.

Boris, of course, was the definition of cool and collected. "What thing are you talking about? Surely it only exists in your imagination."

The other boy, Kenny, spoke up. "Is it really true that Mi-Mi-Ming Ming can't s-sing? Tell me that's not true!"

Suddenly, Kenny's hyper senses turned on, and he found Ming Ming in less than a second. "MING MING! TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!" And he grabbed-no, latched-onto me like some desperate fan. I looked down at him, then at Boris, then I smirked. It wouldn't hurt to make Boris squirm a bit.

"Yes, it's true. I can't sing Kenny. I'm sorry." But I didn't _really_ feel sorry.

"But you sang all the time-"

"Hello, ever hear of lip syching?"

"Prove it. Prove to me that you can't sing then!"

I shrugged. "Ok, if you say so…"

Boris lost his cool and collected façade at that statement. "NO! MY POOR VICTIMIZED EARS ARE STILL RECOVERING FROM LAST TIME!" Then he ran out of the house, covering his ears and screaming like a little girl.

I blinked at the sudden departure, but shrugged it off. Boris was Boris, he'll come back eventually.

"I-I can't believe it Ming Ming… you-it's all been a lie…"

I raised an eyebrow at Kenny, but kept silent. Ray seemed to have disappeared on us. Hm, wonder where he went.

Kenny swallowed a lump in his throat. Boy, this was going to be hard to say, but he had to do it. "Ming Ming, I'm sorry, but… it's over."

"… What?"

"I simply cannot forgive you for lying so much, to me. It hurts you know. I just can't do this anymore. Goodbye, Ming Ming." Then Kenny turned around and left, stomping on his way out. Well, then.

I hoped that this would be the only repercussions for my singing ability, or lack thereof. Sighing, I turned around and started to head upstairs to my room, where this whole mess started, when a voice called out to me.

"Your voice really sucks that bad, huh? Want me to fix it for you?"

I turned around, and almost wished I hadn't. Who the hell was this guy? And why was he dressed in… genie clothing?

"Because I am one."

"One what?" My eyebrow twitched slightly.

"A genie, of course. What else would I be, dressed like this?" He gestured at his attire for a moment, then he brought his attention back to me. "Oh, and by the way, I'm Tala."

"… Genie Tala? Ok… I'll go with that… Wait, you said you could help me? How?"

"I could give you a new singing voice, obviously. And, girl, while we're at it, we need to do something with those things you call nails. What have you been doing to them?" He huffed, as if my nails offended him. Which, offended me too.

"Excuse me, but I take good care of them! Who are you to judge, I don't see yours looking perfect."

He smirked. "But I'm not a super famous pop singer, or a _girl_. I don't have the same image to uphold. But anyway, do you want the new singing voice or not?"

I considered this. Should I change my voice just to please the world? Nah… I'll change it to please myself! "Yes, I want it!" I grinned. "Give it to me!"

Genie Tala nodded. "Very well." Then he just stood there, staring at me for a few moments. I was getting completely creeped out when he finally blinked, and said he was done.

"Done? What do you mean 'done'? And what happened to my voice? Why is it lower?" Uh oh, panic mode again. But I was more worried about this new voice of mine. What did he do to me? I sound like a fucking chain smoker!

"Now, now, don't worry, everything's gonna be just fine. This always happens."

"Change it back… _please_. I don't like it!"

"Sorry, can't. Genie rules." He looked at me like I would understand or care about his genie rules.

"Um… you don't look like the type to follow the rules."

"Looks can be deceiving you know."

"So, you're saying that I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life now?" I asked, a bit shrilly.

He winced slightly at the shrillness. "Yeah, pretty much."

His sudden indifference to my problem made me lunge myself at him in attack, but he just disappeared. How does somebody just _disappear_? I don't care if he claims to be a genie or not, no one can just disappear from me! "Ugh."

I started to head for my bedroom once again, and maybe just become a hermit for the rest of my life or something. "This sucks…"

The door opened-when did it close?-and in came Boris and Mystel. I hope they didn't hear me.

"Hey, Ming Ming, did you hear that weird old smoker's voice? Creepy, huh?" The blonde greeted me. How lame of a greeting is THAT?

I just nodded my head, hoping he'd leave me alone. Both of them, actually.

But of course, luck was not on my side, and Boris approached me with one question, and one question only:

"What happened to my precious gnomes?" It didn't take an expert to hear those desperate tones in his voice, but I still looked at him in a 'what the fuck are you talking about' look. He elaborated, "they're all gone. The lawn is empty, devoid of any joy now."

That's odd. Not that I'm complaining of course. Those things creeped me out anyway. I was really grateful. So grateful, in fact, that I spoke out loud. "You mean they're gone? For good?"

The sound of my voice caused Boris to turn melodramatic again, claiming I was possessed, and that I took his stupid gnomes. Then he stormed out of the house again. Whatever dude.

I looked at Mystel, and he happened to be staring at me in some sort of shock. "T-t-that was you? Seriously? You're a chain smoker?"

"Um… no I'm not. I've never smoked in my life. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Mystel was staring very intensively at me, scrutinizing me. I rolled my eyes at him.

At least whatever he was thinking, he was keeping to himself.

"You may not sound it, but you definitely look do-able."

Never mind.

_**A/N**: I don't know what the hell I just wrote. Ahem. That aside, it is after 2 AM, and I need to go to work tomorrow, haha. Plus, I did this instead of my 900 word paper XD_

_What happened to the gnomes? Will Hilary let Ray and Kenny live? Where did Genie Tala disappear off to? Why didn't he fix her nails? Will Ming Ming have a chain smoker voice forever? Will Mystel seduce her? Will Boris come back? Will he bring gnomes with him? _

_Ok, clearly, I need to go to bed now. But I'd love to hear any answers to the questions above… and any thoughts on the one shot above them XD_

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16_


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